“My screen is not letting me populate it.” ~Lanette

I love to write press releases. I really do. When a client hires me to spread the word about an important event or distribute essential information I find that I thrive on the challenge of putting together a succinct, engaging, properly formatted press release.

After I hit the “send” button and distribute news to all of my contacts I sit back and wait for the fun to begin…

Recently I wrote a press release for a long-time client who knew that more local residents needed to hear about an upcoming appliance rebate opportunity. I interviewed my client, spent some time in research, and put together a press release in about an hour. After getting final approval from my client I put the release out for distribution.

Almost immediately it was picked up! My client was filming a news spot early the very next day. In a later post I will address how important press releases can be in becoming a trusted source of information in your community. But for today’s post I want to show you what happened when I took the role of the reader (after I sent out the press release as a writer).

I told the world to take advantage of an upcoming appliance rebate in my area. So I decided I needed to participate by replacing an old washer that has been sucking water and energy for the last year.

So the original date to call in for a rebate arrived and in accordance with unofficial recommendations, I was ready to dial in at 12:01 am on the appointed date. A note online said: The date for reserving rebates has been moved…come back in three days.

Cool. I really didn’t want to be up half the night on hold anyway.

So…three days later about 1 hour after the lines opened (this time they assured us no one could reserve before 7:00 am) I was on the phone dialing in for my rebate.

My call log went something like this:

8:10 am busy
8:11 am busy
8:11 am busy
8:11 am busy
8:12 am busy

You get the picture.

I tried for another, got the busy tone, gave  up for awhile (I do have a life to lead you know).

So I tried again and one time, the phone actually rang! I got so excited! Then a voice came on the line and said in that pleasant sing-songy way to try and sooth me. “We are experiencing higher than expected call volume. Please call back again later.” And I was crushed.

But not as crushed as I was at least 100 busy signal calls later when the phone rang, a machine answered, asked me if I wanted English or Spanish, took me to Spanish even thought I chose English, put me on hold, then hung up on me!

And even that was not as crushing as another 100 busy signal calls, at least half a dozen “Please call back again later messages” ( I stopped getting excited when I heard a ring instead of a busy signal) and several dropped calls until I finally got to get placed on hold, for real, in English (my fluent language).

So fast-forward almost 12 hours since my very first call and I am on hold. I am holding the phone away from my face so my cheek won’t accidentally hang it up; I’m enjoying the disco hold music; I am hopeful even thought the estimated hold time was 5 minutes and it has now been 15; I am planning how good and clean my new clothes will smell when they come out of my new HE washer!

And suddenly I am talking to someone! A real live someone and her name is Lanette and she asks me my name and I tell her my first name and before I can tell her my last name she re-introduces herself to me and I say OK and she says, “I’m sorry all of the rebates are gone.”

And I say, “OK”.

And she says, ”Do you want to be on the waiting lists?”

And I say “Yes, of course!” And instead of being irritated I am still excited because I feel like even though I didn’t win I got some kind of consolation prize, some small payoff for my efforts.

And she says, “Let me put you on hold for a second.”

And I say, “Please don’t–I don’t want to lose you.” And she says, “Ok”.

And we sit and sit and sit and sit and sit and sit.

And then Lanette says to me, “I’m sorry. My screen is not populating it, you will have to call back later.”

It?! What is it? What? Wait, Lanette, no – wait, please? PLEASE!

I’m sorry ma’am, call back later.

Needless to say, I did not call back. And I forgive them for not being fair at all and for not having enough space on the trunk line to pass out millions of dollars worth of rebates to thousands of callers and for not having the best fastest database screens in the world and for not doing what any sensible planner would do and put all people on hold and then answer all calls in the order in which they were received even if I had to hold on the line all day.

Did I lie when my press release told of this great opportunity? When I mentioned the website and how easy it is to get back up to 50% off when combing rebates? Were my clients mislead when they encouraged residents to update appliances for spring or to increase resale values?

Nope. The message was true: this is a great deal.

There isn’t enough space on a press release to fit in all the nitty-gritty-lottery aspect of what could happen. This part of the story isn’t the news, it’s the reality. No one hid it. Some people probably expected it. The Realtors who hired me DID expect it and mentioned it in our interview but their caution did not make it into my final cut.

Writer became reader and I realized, even after someone had told me how hard it might be, I tried it anyway with a full expectation that I would get the prize at the end. News outlets are reporting  And someone DID get the prizes even if I didn’t. If my client’s press release spurred one person to action then the press release was…

A REAL SUCCESS. Really.